Sunny side up... and sometimes serious! | Taranaki News | Local News in Taranaki

Sunday was Children's Day. This week we look at some amusing things children have said:

? The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosqitoes.

? A census taker is a man who goes from house to house increasing the population.

? Define H?O and CO?. H?O is hot water and CO? is cold water.

? A virgin forest is a forest where the hand of man has never set foot.

? A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water then forcing it through an aviator.

? Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.

? The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 opossums.

? A sSout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly constipated authorities.

? One by-product of raising cattle is calves.

? To prevent head colds, use an agoniser to spray into the nose until it drips into the throat.

? The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

? The climate is hottest next to the Creator.

? Oliver Cromwell had a large red nose, but under it were deeply religious feelings.

? The word 'trousers' is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.

? Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.

? In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon.

? Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.

? In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah.

? A person should take a bath once in the summer, not so often in the winter.

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An honest seven-year-old calmly admitted to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class. "How did that happen?," gasped her mother. "It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me catch him.

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One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, '..... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is falling!' The teacher paused then asked the class, 'And what do you think that farmer said?' One little girl raised her hand and said, 'I think he said; 'Oh My God! A talking chicken!'' The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

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For weeks, a six-year old boy kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but he made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event. The teacher finally asked the boy, "Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you're expecting at home?" Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"

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One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

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.....and for us older folk here is a Senility Prayer: God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

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You can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and you will not find that person anywhere.

Have a great week!